Creating a Montessori Environment
When I was pregnant with my oldest, I joined an amazing moms' group. We met every Wednesday night at 9pm and alternated the location between different moms' houses. By 9pm, our children were asleep, and we could enjoy some grownup time with other moms. I learned so much from that group of women. At the top of the list was learning about Montessori education.
Maria Montessori was an Italian physician in the 1900s who realized that the learning environment of her youngest patients was significantly effecting their physical health. She did substantial research and ultimately created an holistic approach to education that considers the entire person and how humans interact with their environment to gather new information. This book gives amazing guidance on how to set up a nursery to stimulate your baby's natural ability to learn from their environment. This information was life-changing for our family. Children who grow up with Montessori environments tend to be more curious and confident. Below I will include links to my favorite Montessori materials. The over arching idea is that children will gain confidence and independence if they are allowed to teach themselves in an environment where they don't have to be constantly told "don't touch that." Children are physically small and are asked to function in an adult-sized world. As it is difficult for them to do that, they naturally learn to rely on their parents to do almost everything for them. This ends up being frustrating for a lot of parents and stunts the natural development children can have if given the right environment. Montessori materials for the home include small furniture that a 1-2 year old can use on their own (couch, table, chair, toilet, etc.) Our children also had tableware and cutlery that were available at a lower shelf. The bottom drawers of the fridge included foods they could safely get for themselves. Everything in these areas must be baby proofed so that your child can meet as many of their own needs as possible without being in danger.
There are only two areas where I disagree with this book. First is that the Montessori approach recommends a baby sleeping in a room by themselves where they can safely explore when they wake up. They say that this will lessen a child's need to cry for their parents to come and get them, and the child will learn independence at a very early age. However, I was very persuaded by "The Attachment Parenting" book by Dr Sears and by the Developmental Psychology class I took my Senior year of college that children develop better when they can sleep in the same room as their parents. Shocking, I know! While this is a very unusual practice in the Western world, it is common practice in the majority of the rest of the world. Multiple studies have shown that families who sleep in the same room are more bonded and teenagers who grew up sleeping in the same room as their parents are much less rebellious. We have definitely found that to be the case. You can read more about this in the section below about "The Attachment Parenting" book.
The only other issue I have with "How to Raise an Amazing Child" is that it focuses a lot on the importance of sending your child to a Montessori school, usually from the ages of 3-6. When my oldest was 2, I attempted to put him in a daycare for 3 half days a week so that I could have some alone time. I took him to two different daycares and was very disappointed in each one. They were asking 2 year olds to sit quietly in a desk and complete worksheets with crayons and pencils. I knew too much about child development to accept that. Children need to learn through play and exploration. I decided to try a Montessori school like I had read about in this great book. We found an incredible school. It was everything I had imagined and more. My oldest flourished there even beyond my wildest expectations. It was so amazing that I gladly drove the two hours each morning to get him there, then I hung out at a nearby Starbucks for 3 hours while he had a half day, and then we drove the two hours home. After six months, our apartment lease was up for renewal, so we decided to move within walking distance of this incredible Montessori school.
When our second son was born, he was able to attend the same school at the same time. (They had 1.5 through 5 year olds in the same room. Mixed age groups is apart of the Montessori approach because they will teach each other.) It was a phenomenal school to say the least. Then my oldest turned 6 and we enrolled him in a Montessori elementary school about 30 minutes away. It was like a completely different program. They had many of the same materials that make Montessori education famous, but their teaching approach was vastly different. My oldest started struggling and he regressed emotionally. After six months, we made the difficult decision to withdraw him, and we started homeschooling. When my youngest was 2.5, we had to move to a new area, and I enrolled him in a different Montessori school for 3-6 year olds. It was absolutely horrible. The building looked lovely, and they had all of the lovely materials that we were used to. But the teachers were impatient and rude. My youngest son actually ended up being quite traumatized from the whole experience. We learned the hard way that Montessori schools are not all equal. Just because a school has Montessori materials, it does not mean that they will create a nurturing environment. Apart from that first incredible Montessori school, our experience has been that it was better to create a Montessori environment at home rather than send our children to a Montessori school.
